There is an all-American outcry from concerned patriots…and both red and blue political parties have finally come together to agree to denounce Ralph Lauren’s high-fashion, Team USA attire because they were, OMG…made in China. Harry Reid is what Archie Bunker so eloquently called,” a left-wing pinko liberal” and Harry in all his, acquired-over-the-years wisdom stated, “We should burn all those uniforms.”
It’s soooo reassuring to know that our government officials have the brains (most likely pickled to boot) that could rival any fruit fly. So Harry, perhaps you and all your patriotic pundits should enlist the services of our mighty miltary and…history may very well repeat itself. Let us all journey back now in Mr. Peabody’s WABAC machine (“The Bullwinkle Show”) with Sherman, KanGo, you too Harry, to Nazi Berlin May 10, 1933. Here we all witness the “night of the burning books,” and the beginning of the German people’s purification, which ultimately leads to their country’s complete destruction. Seig Heil! (Hail victory).
Let’s imagine we just torch all the products we American’s eagerly purchase because as Americans it’s all about accumulation and he who dies with the most stuff wins, leaving it to our thankless kids who don’t want it anyway. Forget that they are made by nice people, desperately needing the work, and working for American companies. What would our land-of-the-free landscape most likely look most like? Like the the recent wildfire-ravaged West.
Mr. Peabody, please take us all now to KanGo’s early years, the time of sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll and good-old-fashioned American “Isolationism,” circa 1970: The “Big Three” crank out crappy but cool cars with 400-cubic inches, 4-speeds and 4-barrel carbs sucking 10-gallons per mile and are faster that a herd of raped apes. People that drove foreign cars were either foreigners or from academia and all were on Hoover’s list of “unpatriots,” along with our poets, musicians, intellectuals of just about any US citizen demonstrating the right of free speech or simply demonstrating. Controlled borders issued “green cards” before the “get-in-free card” became the entry of choice; we had unions everywhere getting us more middle class; we had affordable healthcare, job security and filling station wars pushed gas prices to near 25 cents a gallon; and…we had a great war raging against those commie bastards that were hell bent on trying to impose socialism on us. Life was good…we were Americans.
Then the rest of the world wanted a piece of the action. Oh…shit!
Color me gone,