Hypothetical Question of the Day by Jay Abbondanza – Roseanne Harmonica

Hey, what doesn't kill us is making us stronger, we're gonna last longer

Hey, what doesn’t kill us is making us stronger, we’re gonna last longer

If you play the harmonica shouldn’t you know the theme to Roseanne?

The harmonica might be the easiest instrument on earth to learn. I say might because I don’t know how to play the harmonica and I haven’t tried to learn. I say easiest because I can’t think of another instrument that you can play by strapping it to your neck. Anything that you don’t need your hands for can’t be that hard.

If you play the harmonica and are offended, shut up, unless you have a sack-full of harmonica lessons with you I’m not interested in your commentary. It’s easy, I’ve decided, that’s it.

So, if you are one of the select few that have access to a harmonica and the knowledge on how to play said instrument shouldn’t you learn the greatest harmonica jam of all time, the theme to Roseanne? I’ve taken the time to learn the lyrics written for the last season and performed by John Popper from Blues Traveler. The least you could do is learn the damn song.

It’d make you a better person. The harmonica is not always a tool for good. Often times it’s used to irritate the cell mates of convicted felons or cover a Bob Dylan song, but if you utilize the instrument to harken back to one of the greatest television shows of all time, it could become a tool of joy not an ear piercing reminder of sorrow. Learning and performing the Roseanne theme song will add joy to the world. How many times are you going to be able to make a blues song interesting? Once, twice maybe, but conversely every time the Roseanne theme is played the audience can picture the old Becky morphing into the new Becky and then back into the old Becky from the later “morphing intro” of Roseanne and that will bring joy to their hearts for years to come.

There aren’t any. You should do this. While we’re at it, if you play the accordion you should learn that French song that Joan played in Mad Men, if you play the piano learn the theme to Family Matters, and if you have a clarinet and haven’t learned “When I’m 64” yet, you really need to reconsider your place in this world.

So, am I right? I know I’m right I just need you to agree with me.

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