Hypothetical Question of the Day by Jay Abbondanza – Trading Places with Pop Stars

Sure this is bad, but isn't it better than abject poverty and irrelevance?

Sure this is bad, but isn’t it better than abject poverty and irrelevance?

Would you trade places with the pop star that you hate most?

Pop stars can be extremely polarizing. Often times, the more popular they are, the more they are hated. But aren’t their lives better than yours? You may hate Justin Bieber, but I guarantee he’s happier than you. If he invests wisely, he could stop doing what he’s doing right now and just live life like the last scene in Trading Places while teams of women compete over how best to support his balls.

Basically what I’m saying is, is your integrity for sale? Would you become what you hate in order to have a happier and more comfortable life?

Positives
If someone is popular enough to be hated, it’s probably safe to assume that they are making enough to purchase a home and lease a luxury car. They probably don’t have any credit card debt or student loans. They wouldn’t have trouble getting an entry level job almost anywhere. If Katie Perry wanted to be a receptionist, I’m sure almost any business would be happy to let her get her cupcake bra in the door.

These are all the problems I encounter now. If you took them away, I’d gladly become Adam Levine. It’s probably fun to host The Voice and turn down Christina Aguilera’s sexual advances.

They might even be able to get a job in middle management or CEO. Sometimes, people come up to them and offer them money just to say they like their product. Imagine your opinion was worth money. Wouldn’t that be worth the sound of your own voice making you crazy?

Negatives
If you’re one of those people that pretend to have integrity, then I guess it might drive you crazy to be annoying. If you pretend that financial freedom isn’t worth almost everything except your friends’ and family’s well-being than you might have also convinced yourself that singing irritating songs is a fate worse than death. You might be that good at lying to yourself.

It might also get tedious to wear oversized pink wigs or meat dresses. I bet choreography is really hard to learn and I bet Usher is terrible to work with. Who doesn’t hate to fly? Maybe you have a real distaste for speaking in front of crowds and you don’t like sharing your opinion. I’m sure there are a lot of tedious details that one could site as reasons that pop stars lives aren’t better.

So, what’s it going to be? If you have to wear a microphone on your head would you rather be reading from a script while confirming that Directv’s service is satisfactory or singing a terrible song while thousands of people shout adoring words of love in your direction? It’s up to you.

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