If You Don’t Know Who “One Direction” is Then You’re Dumb and Old…And Old, Did I Say That Already?

Look, this band is hot. Beatles hot. Let’s just say if Ed Sullivan were around they’d be booked twice already (for the same night). Been following them for years. Yeah, I kinda gotta finger on the pulse of hip, and when I saw these guys in ’08 in London’s West End…well, I just knew.

It’s that mix of melody and harmony, the crescendo, timbre, and the treble clef. The half and whole notes. Love it. Cutting edge that you just don’t see anymore. If you had the innate musical instincts I have you’d understand, but you don’t. You’re too old, and you just don’t get it. Your kids just downloaded like 16 songs off Itunes while you were reading this, so you better get on board. The shit’s rad and awesome and tight.

TMZ – There are five members in the hit British boy band One Direction — and today in Dallas, there will 20 security personnel for each of them … to ensure their rabid fan base stays safe and in check.

According to our sources, a security team of 100 has been assigned to protect the group for their performance … which is only supposed to last 45 minutes.

The band, which became the first UK group in history to debut at number one with their first album, is scheduled to play just four songs for a crowd of about 7,000 at the Dr Pepper Ballpark.

The security breaks down like this: 40 for close protection security, 50 more for the venue, and then 10 more just on stand by.

Your move, Bieber.

Just in case you forgot who dictates what is popular in the world. It’s 13 year-old girls. Well, them, and young boys that are confused. “One Direction” is right. Straight to Boystown. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that”.

And let me tell you something I learned recently with respect to the photo above. This band is going to be around about as long as a vodka soda at my breakfast table. Don’t say you weren’t warned sweatshirt crew. Geraldo wasn’t kidding you Brit diaper kids, “You can’t rehabilitate the hoodie.”

Update: I actually just listened to 10 seconds of one of their popular songs. I think my ears are literally bleeding.

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