Mormons Emerge From Huge Hole…And Pull Out a Big One (Really Big, For a White Team)

The “Madness” is in full swing, as teams that are in NCAA/NIT purgatory are fighting to find out who will go on to lose in the first round of the Tournament, or go home happy cause they’re done being mediocre. How many of you watched last night’s game between BYU and Iona? Iona was left for dead before they even stepped on the court, as everyone seemed to think they shouldn’t have even qualified for this, pre-tournament/extra games for money, slug fest. There were actually a few columns that I read that questioned or not if Iona was actually a real school, or if Devry had changed their name to get an invite to the “Dance”.

Iona, however, must have used this disrespect in their favor, as they came out smokin’ last night. They actually built a 25 point lead, and everything looked good, but then at halftime the coach reminded the team that, “They’re Iona, that means something”. Apparently what that meant to the team was that they shouldn’t have been invited, and that they are a worthless excuse for a team, and a school. They blew the lead, and landed on the record sheet as surrendering the largest lead in NCAA Tournament history, and now BYU and their mormon contingency get another game.

There’s no such thing as bad PR, and now whenever someone hears Iona they won’t think,”What?”, they’ll think, “Oh, that shitty team.” It’s good for recruiting I think, but I’m not an expert.

The Polygamists move on to take on the Jesuits of Marquette…it’s going to be a Christian free-for-all. My prediction for the game. I think three Golden Eagle cheerleaders become wives, and two BYU Cougars convert to Catholicism. (Marquette 77, BYU 62)

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