Picking Apart The Dark Knight Rises for Fun (Spoilers!)

Let me start by saying this. I love The Dark Knight Rises, it was a great movie. I think that Chris Nolan is a great director. This might be my favorite trilogy of all time. With that said TDKR has flaws. The best movies have flaws. Flaws are fun. I wanted to point out a few plot holes and interesting points that I thought of while watching the most highly anticipated movie of my lifetime.

Bane’s Death Sucked
Bane was portrayed as the biggest, smartest badass on earth. He concocts a way to reduce what we can only assume is the largest, most important city in America to an anarchistic dictatorship before he reduces it to rubble with an unstoppable nuclear bomb. He’s also the first person to beat Batman both physically and mentally. We eventually find out that he is not actually the master mind of the entire plot, but still he deserved a more climactic demise than being blown away by Anne Hathaway. Seriously, it was over before it started. There’s not much they could do with a PG13 rating, but it would’ve been cool to at least see his face or something. At the very least I would’ve loved Batman slapping his forehead and saying, “Rockets, of course! I have lots of rockets! Why didn’t I think of that? I figured I’d just kill him slowly by slightly breaking his mask.”

Bane’s Prison: Not So Scary
When Batman is defeated and his back is broken he is sent to the prison where Bane was born. This prison is sold to the audience as the worst prison on earth. It is a pit of hell that only the most brutal of villains i.e. Bane could escape. He even makes mention of the fact that he was born in darkness. When we finally get to this prison we find out that its most prominent feature is that it has an open hole that you’re free to climb of if you are able and it appears to be very well lit. In addition to this the only horror that Batman comes into contact with while in the prison is on a crappy TV which he ends up breaking. Apparently, Bane forgot to make the TV pebble-proof. Batman’s roommates are basically what one friend of mine referred to as “a bunch of Alfreds” that are basically put there to tell pertinent plot points and help Batman get out of the prison. The prison is complete with a rope guy and a chorus of people to chant you to success. Not only are the inhabitants of the prison not scary, they’re supportive

Bane’s Mask: A Murky History at Best
First of all, unless I missed it, we never really do find out what Bane’s mask does. According to mopey prison roommate there was some sort of disease or fight or something and the mask eases Bane’s pain. If Bane has never taken off the mask, where did the prison guys get the stuff to make it? Don’t tell me the scariest prison in the world has the materials to make a mask no one has ever heard of in addition to a rope guy and a supportive chant. However, I’ll admit that it’s not much of a stretch that he replaced the original mask at some point, let’s move on. Why wasn’t child Bane wearing the mask when he left the prison? We know now that it’s because Nolan apparently wanted truth in flashback, but I feel like that would really bother a smart person. I wasn’t bothered then, but I am now.

Why Did the Dudes in the Prison Have to Tell Batman that the Mask was Bane’s Weakness
If a guy’s wearing a mask that looks like some sort of breathing apparatus that he never removes wouldn’t you start swinging at it just in case. Batman instead swings at Bane’s core clearly his most vulnerable spot… Oh wait he’s a goddamn tank, maybe just throw one of them there Bat-flying-stars at that mask just in case there Batty. Also, why is it every time Batman fights Bane he completely forgets that he has gadgets? I’ve read the Dark Knight Returns and I understand that Batman is the kind of asshole that would rather beat someone’s ass to prove a point than shoot him easily from the comfort of a tank, but Bat-flying-stars should be fair play.

Batman Should’ve Seen the Miranda Twist Coming
After Batman and Miranda bone you see Batman notice a scar on Miranda’s back. There’s a close up of it. It’s a League of Shadows marking and despite Batman’s extreme intelligence and familiarity with this mark, he simply moves on like “hey, some bitches got scars I guess. Hey, how’s that pussy doing? Vacant? Awesome. Let’s go ahead and fix that.”

Cops and Crooks Charging Each Other: Bad for Two Reasons
I’m going to start this one by explaining that the scene was way more awesome than it was bad, but despite the awesome concept of what was taking place it was so unrealistic and in a movie trilogy that prided itself on realism that it ultimately took me out of it a little. Two arms groups don’t suddenly decide to turn a street into Braveheart because they’re mad, but even if you can accept the charging it’s hard to ignore the audible machine gun fire. I heard machine gun fire and saw three people drop. Again, it’s PG13, what could they do, but I thought it would’ve been cool to just see the first wave of cops dropped by gun fire just to show how dedicated the cops were, but that’s me, I’m not smart.

I Wish There Was a Dumb Guy Scene Where They Go Back and Show Batman Getting Out Before the Bomb
This is specifically for me and stupid people everywhere. I know that Nolan likes ambiguous endings at least a little, but this one wasn’t exactly to my liking. First of all it wasn’t that ambiguous. Why would they mention the auto pilot? Who fixed the Bat Signal? Why wouldn’t they just show a whisper of Bruce at the café? I am of the opinion that it is clear that Batman got out of the Bat before it blew up and all I would’ve liked is one scene a la Ace escaping his Caddy in Casino which explains how he did it. The short answer is “he’s Batman”, but I found it really hard to fight the urge not to yell, “but he didn’t get out of the cocka-doody Bat!” at the screen and I’m guessing I’m not the only one or maybe I am, well it’s my article and that’s the way I want it.

So that’s it, those were the flaws I noticed. This in no way makes me think less of the movie. I still have the highest opinion of the trilogy and Nolan. I loved Batman drawing the cops off Bane. I loved everyone’s acting. I loved that she’s never called Catwoman and her “ears” were her functional glasses flipped up. I loved the movie. This shit is just fun. Things with flaws can still be great and without these flaws, my conversation with friends about the movie would’ve just been 5 minutes of “cool, right?” and who needs that?